Spirituality and Abortion
(Nampa, Boise, ID)
Yes, me again. I do apologize if I may be pestering you, but your site is so simply astounding and has helped me see the true meaning in life, and even death...if there even is such a thing!
So, last night, I found a huge discussion on the highly controversial topic of dreaded abortion, and how it's such a 'crime' to "take" a life. I cannot say I have a side on the issue. I'm stuck in the middle. I've been through several...tedious, tiresome debates, even leading me to tears. I then began to fear for my own safety, not so much of being killed, but raped, then getting an abortion, then to be quarantined within my house from the overwhelming grief and fear of being verbally, mentally, emotionally and perhaps even physically attacked by the extreme radicals of pro-life people.
So, I have embarked upon a grand quest to finally settle the issue that never seems to end, nor have any answer. Is it actually as bad as some poeople say it is? Are the babies happy to have their lives 'stolen' from them? Are they sad? Are they angry? Do they wish vengeance upon the mother or father? Do they feel sad for her if she gets made fun or bullied for having them aborted?
Today, just this morning while I was eating my breakfast, something occurred to me. I happened to be eating an egg at the time, so it was most accurate timing. I stopped and mused to myself the daunting and taunting question that seems to have naught an answer. I recalled someone I know very personally who has had two abortions. I do have a worry of a third. I fear for her emotional and mental well being, hoping she won't lose her mind if she ever does get tormented by some of the more crude, crass and even dangerous radical pro-lifers.
This time, I asked for something simple. Babies. That's all. Just...babies. It didn't have to be any particular species, not any given time, nor any certain definite place, or not in any amount or quantity. I just wanted babies. I made it clear though I wanted it to be a baby and that I would know when I saw it. I meditated on the idea for a while as well.
I suddenly heard in my head a small, almost watery like giggle, then...two. They sounded to be like very young babies...in water. Of course, the amniotic fluid! I took this as a sign they were working on the task. They were laughing. It seemed to be they were happy, or so, at that time.
My dad comes to tell me of a 'Bug Day' festival in town. I had temporarily forgotten of this coming due to the emotional distress i was under while desperately going through heaps of questions of abortion topics. So, I get ready. I'm not exactly in the mood to go, though I do love insects and those 'creepy crawly things'! I was too stuck in the rut of abortions...
We get there, and all of the sudden, an image of certain character off of my favorite show (who happens to be a crazy entomologist) pops through my mind, i hear her laughing, along with the two other watery like laughs. She holds in her hand some giant, shimmering, glowing green eggs, they hatch and out crawl forth mutant, slimy flesh and vein looking grub worms, the laughing of the two water like infants getting louder as
they crawled forth to me. I wasn't too frightened, but it was quite a shocker, I do love a good bout of positive startlization to get me going on things! I noted...they looked like little...embryos and fetus creatures! I took this as the first stage of their communication.
While I was there, I happened to stop by a bee exhibit. They told us to look for the queen, we could identify her by a green spot that had been painted on her thorax. A little girl found her. I was expecting a bright lime green, but this was more of a dark green...and shiny, like the eggs in my vision! In addition, it's the queen's job to lay eggs. I took it as a sign I was headed for more of a guessing game.
We then stopped by another bee exhibit, this time, on native bees. They had on display their larva...IN GREEN SHELLS! The mother bee wasn't looking too happy...another sign, I wonder, as to how a mother may feel about a situation like this, torn between keeping the home for the larva or moving on and having them taken out of her life. But, grubs! They indeed looked like little embryos! They were quite adorable. I even felt the urge to take one and cradle it like a human infant and even play 'peek a boo' with them. I knew i couldn't, not in public of all places! I held this as another sign, more so, the mother-baby connection this debate seems to spiral down, leaving the mother incapable of making her own decisions on the issue, her hive, her privacy being invaded by others against her will.
Looking over, I noticed a poster with a Sugar Glider on it. i then recall having a dream, just that last night of owning one, which I called Sugar Baby. Baby...made fair sense. Another sign to treasure!
Later we passed a meditation garden (I had a very deep thought of you and Murray at that moment!) there were many, now 'dead' insects and arachnids in containers...in the fetal position. Most insect fairs I've gone to don't have many of their specimens in the FETAL position! Another signal! The phsyical body is now dead.
Going back to our car to go home, I noticed there were a lot of bees flying around, and there were flowers that bees don't normally go to, and to add, there were tons of other more fragrent flowers in bloom. I notcied the bees, in large amounts were going after small flowers. I had a bit of a flashback to the larva...bee larva, now bees, pollonating...giving life and fertility! I took this as a sign they were all grown up in the next plane of life, happy and healthy. Something rang through my head: 'Indeed, there IS NO SUCH THING AS DEATH!'
I nearly screamed in delight. I proably would have if I hadn't been so tired from going a few hours without a decent meal.
I have about three to seven more specific signs I want them to send to me. Each one is going to be a bit tougher than the last, but not too tough. I feel the need to put an end to this debate, this argument, once and for all.
I shall continue to keep you updated on this issue. if you wish for me to stop, I will. i do understand this IS a very deep rooted issue for many, and most do not like to openly express their views.