Our choice and ability to focus upon the reality of life after death can have a profound affect when we’re coping with grief over our deceased loved ones.
The first time we experience the death of someone really close to us is often the first time our actual belief in an afterlife is put to the test. Many who profess to hold a belief in life after death, lose sight of this belief as their focuses gravitates more towards their loss than what they know to be true in their hearts. It’s important to remember that we are all capable of taking control of our thoughts to harness the direction of our mental focus. Our ability to do this at such a difficult time as when we are coping with grief, will have a profound effect on the level of grief and suffering we experience.
I've actually found it kind of interesting observing various people's reactions to the death of their loved ones. Indeed, when coping with grief, it can be very difficult to gain control over the direction of our thoughts.
Sometimes I'm surprised at those who accept the transition of their loved ones with grace, due to their well developed ability to focus the direction of their attention and then the ones who seem to fight the death of their loved one and rail against it, becoming lost in their grief, because they allow their focus to drift into the negative and remain there. No doubt, our ability to choose our focus will never be more challenged as when we find ourselves coping with grief after the death of a loved one.
Like anything else in life, our response to death very much depends upon our perspective and our perceptions. As difficult as it may be sometimes to switch gears, we do have a choice in the matter. If we choose to focus upon the physical loss and the void that is left in our life, we'll experience pain. If instead we choose to focus upon a higher truth and our belief in the reality of life after death and we purposefully choose thoughts that align with this higher truth, we will elevate ourselves and our experience of death. Coping with grief becomes much easier once we’ve ‘trained’ our mind to gravitate towards our knowing about life after death rather than the physical reality of our loss. With practice, this really can become habit.
The key is in the realization that we always have a choice about where to place our focus of attention and then in becoming aware enough of our moment to moment thoughts that we can re-direct them when they stray. If we focus more upon our knowing about the reality of life after death than we do upon the physical loss facing us, we will have a much easier time coping with grief.
When I look back to the days immediately following my brother's death, indeed there was pain, shock and sadness, however, there was also a beautiful and magical energy surrounding the entire event. As I had a strong belief in an afterlife, I knew with certainty that I was witnessing and experiencing, up close and personal, the mystery of the circle of life and that the loss I was experiencing was only on the physical level. My husband made the astute observation that the energy felt very similar to when our children were born, that we were experiencing a deep and profound truth about life itself, merely from the other end of the spectrum this time.
If we had not consciously directed our thoughts towards the light and had instead simply focused upon the physical loss that Murray’s death has created in our lives, we would not have had access to this more expanded,far more positive perspective about his death.
The entire immediate family seemed to be catapulted into an expanded consciousness of higher knowing and heartfelt unity. We were not so much unified by our grief but more by our recognition of the profundity and perfection of what had just occurred.
All I knew was that When I focused solely upon my loss, I felt a distance between my brother that was heart-wrenching and when I focused upon his new-found freedom and his experience of life after death, I could hear his voice. This made the choice regarding where I would focus my perspective, very easy.
I now look back upon this time as a spiritual awakening of sorts. My entire view about life after death and about life has been forever expanded and I rarely make the choice these days to focus away from the perspective of my spirit. The result has been that my life experience which was already wonderful, has now been taken to a new level.
So yes, it is true that great pain and suffering can lead us to expansive levels of spiritual growth, however, pain and suffering are not 'necessary' for this growth as it is in transcending the suffering through the realization that we can 'choose' where to place our mental focus, that the real transformation and growth occurs. Once we get this one, we need never suffer again over anything.
Even when experiencing something as difficult and devastating as coping with grief over our deceased loved ones, it is possible to choose the direction of our thoughts. If we focus upon our knowing regarding the reality of life after death, we place ourselves in a position where we can receive inspiration from spirit and where we can even feel and receive the energy of our deceased loved one.
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